


It Hurts

by PalauMaggot



Category: Avengers Academy (Video Game), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Inspired by Music, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony's Gauntlet is a Prosthetic Hand, Tony's gauntlet is a prosthetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9302624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PalauMaggot/pseuds/PalauMaggot
Summary: Getting his heart ripped out of his chest was a feeling that Tony was already intimately familiar with. Unfortunately it doesn't make it better when it inevitably happens again.**Chapter 2 added because you all wanted one ahaha*****Chapter 3 is an Alternate Ending that I kind of wanted lol.***





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you listen to Emeli Sande's song 'Hurts' along with this fic, it might make it better.
> 
> Ch.2 if you want Steve/Tony
> 
> Ch.3 if you want James/Tony

Tony sat at his desk and stared at the computer screen. Instead of messing around with any of his projects or tinkering with his tech, Tony had a glazed over look in his eyes that showed he wasn't really seeing the computer. Everything about him was calm, his hand and gauntlet were flat and relaxed on the flat surface, his posture was slightly hunched, instead of his normal leg bouncing showing his need for constant movement, it was still. However, inside his mind, where he was currently trapped, was the exact opposite.

He and Steve had another fight.

Tony should be used to it by now. They had completely different outlooks and styles of dealing with things. Tony figured that their uneasy friendship would continue to be rocky but he didn't expect to grow closer.

 

* * *

 

 

_Tony laughed at the comment that Enchantress had said. He figured out long ago that showing that she hit a nerve would only make her continue to hammer onto it. He knew he wasn't entirely successful when her eyes gleamed with the familiar spark of triumph._

_Tony was typically a good actor when it came to times like this but the (continual) off-handed comments that she said about Tony never measuring up to his father really wore him down. She was holding onto the string tightly when she figured out that particular insecurity._

_"It's funny that you think you belong here."_

_Tony just rolled his eyes and went back to his gauntlet. There was a tiny malfunction with the reactor in the center of his palm and she just entered the dorm and started to talk. He noticed Jan walked in and outright glared at the blonde, "Don’t you have someone to convince that they like you?"_

_Tony let a small amused smile drift across his face at that and sent a quick glance to his friend. They froze at Enchantress's next words._

_"Better than being a cripple."_

_Tony had only just managed to grab Jan before she lunged towards the other. He ignored Enchantress in favor of trying to calm down Jan, "Hey it's fine okay?"_

_"It's not fine! That was disgusting and you do not deserve to be talked to like that. Let me GO!"_

_Tony struggled with Jan and ignored the blonde's tinkling laughter. He glanced up from the small brunette when someone entered the dorm. He barely managed a smile at Steve before going back to Jan._

_Steve looked at the pair and then to the Enchantress and crossed his arms, "What's going on?" He raised one eyebrow at Jan's muffled cursing and her glaring at Tony._

_Tony's, "Nothing Cap! Nothing at all!" came out at the same time as Janet's, "I'm going to rip out her hair, that's what's going on!"_

_Steve watched them for a few seconds before glancing to the Enchantress who was still smiling and watching the other two, “Enchantress, would you mind telling me what’s going on?” His tone held no argument but they both knew that it didn’t work on her._

_She turned her amused eyes to the Captain and smiled, “Just telling the truth.” She said as she brushed past him and walked out of the door._

_Steve shook his head and turned back to Jan and Tony. Now that the other blonde was out of the room Jan calmed slightly and was now fuming silently. Steve raised an eyebrow when Jan gave Tony a particularly venomous glare before pushing out of his arms and leaving to go to her room._

_Tony sighed and ran his hand through his hair, “This is going to be fun.” He said under his breath._

_Steve stepped forward and raised one of his eyebrows, “What happened?” He didn’t say it in a commanding voice. He knew it wouldn’t work with Tony and the engineer would just clam up and become defensive._

_Tony glanced at Steve and wiggled the fingers on his gauntlet, “I gotta admit that Enchantress was actually telling the truth.”_

_Steve noticed a slight flinch behind Tony’s brown eyes as he said that, “Tony.” He waited until the genius looked at him to continue, “You’ve given this academy a lot. Thank you for working hard on all of our weapons and shields around the campus.”_

_Tony blinked in shock at that and stumbled over his words, “Oh, uh, you’re welcome?”_

 

* * *

 

Tony blinked out of his memory and tried to focus on the table again. Only to be dragged back into another one. The blank surface in front of him only served to give his mind permission to continue with it’s downward spiral.

Tony spared a tiny thought about doing something to get his mind off of the memories as he fell into another one.

 

* * *

 

_Steve smiled at Tony when the lights went up, “That movie was spectacular!”_

_Tony turned to him, opening his mouth about all of the obvious plot holes and technical mistakes when he froze. Steve’s eyes were sparkling with unspoken amazement and he was almost vibrating with excitement after seeing it. Tony shut his mouth and smiled back, “Yeah, I’m glad you wanted me to come with, man.” He didn’t want to ruin Steve’s mood. Something he was great at doing._

_Steve turned back to the screen and shook his head almost unbelieving, “I hope that they come out with a sequel.”_

_Tony hoped so too. If only to fill all of the plot holes and mistakes. But for now he could shut it and enjoy Steve’s giddiness. It was only a matter of time before they fought again._

 

* * *

 

 

Tony pushed himself away from the table and stood up to pace. He didn’t want the tears to start to fall out of his eyes again.

He knew Steve didn’t know what he was saying, but that still didn’t change the fact that it _hurts_. The feeling of his heart being ripped out of his chest was a familiar one but that didn’t make it any better when Steve did it.

 

* * *

 

 

 _This was such a bad idea. Tony couldn’t think of the reasons since he was being kissed senseless but in the back of his mind he knew it was a bad idea._ _They shouldn’t have drank that Asguardian mead that Thor had brought with him to the party. But Tony didn’t want to pass up the chance of seeing Steve drunk. It also helped that Steve didn’t believe that it would work with his system anyways._

_It did._

_And now they were making out against a wall._

_Tony forgot exactly how it started. He barely remembered an offhanded quip about Steve’s virtue and then the challenge in the blue eyes and then bam. Tony was against the wall as Steve all but kissed the breath out of him._

_Tony fumbled with the door knob to their left and they less than gracefully fell through when it opened. He smiled into the kiss as a drifting thought went through his mind, ‘Alcohol is great.’_

 

* * *

 

 

Tony pressed his palms into his eyes and bit his lip. He wasn’t sure when he ended up loving Steve but it was bad now. That party was only about a month ago and Tony knew it was just going to crash and burn at the time.

Tony called it.

Now Steve was just ignoring him, pretending that he didn’t remember the morning after the party when he had said that they could make it work. Parting with another kiss that made Tony smile and think ‘ _Maybe..._ ’

But no. No matter how much Tony wanted it to work, no matter what one person did, a relationship is a two way street and the other person had no choice but to watch it burn. Tony angrily wiped his eyes and shook his head. Steve’s words during their fight had cut him deep.

_‘You’re nothing without technology, your suit, even your damn gauntlet.’_

Tony was nothing without his gauntlet. Another way of saying that he was nothing without his hand. Tony was nothing since he was a cripple. The tears fell again.

Sometimes he wished he was made of stone so it wouldn’t hurt.


	2. Ch. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was probably the most demand i've ever gotten for a second chapter. ahahaha here you go!

Tony stared at his gauntlet for a few more seconds before replacing the panel. It needed to be surface cleaned but all around it was fine, there wasn’t any twisted wires or lose connections. Tony replaced his small tool inside of his jacket and stood up from the couch to stretch his back.

He closed his eyes after a particularly satisfying pop on his spine happened and sighed. Tony almost jumped when he opened his eyes and another pair of brown were about a foot away. Tony blinked and slowly lowered his arms, “What’s up Jack?”

“Please call me James.” Union Jack said with an amused twist of his lips.

Tony tilted his head, “Shouldn’t you be called Union James? What’s with the Jack?”

James laughed and shook his head, “Couldn’t really tell you.” He paused and looked at the gauntlet, “I saw you fixing that, was something wrong with it?”

Caught off guard with the sudden interested question, Tony blinked and looked to his hand again, “Uhh, No, I just have to keep it cleaned and make sure there aren’t any loose connections or things like that.”

James nodded, “Ahh, general upkeep then.”

Tony nodded as well with a small smile, “Gotta keep the gadgets up to snuff just in case!” Tony flexed his gauntlet a few times before continuing, “Speaking of, did you want me to look at anything of yours?”

James raised an eyebrow.

Tony’s eyes widened as he started to laugh, “Not like that! It’s just-” He calmed down and continued with a small amused smile, “People usually just want me to help them out with their tech.”

James furrowed his eyebrows, amusement suddenly gone from his face, “That’s not right, mate.”

Tony blinked and looked away as he rubbed the back of his head, “Well, I mean, I’m the tech guy. I understand.”

James shook his head and let the subject drop, “I was actually wondering if you’d like to go flying sometime?” He continued at Tony’s shocked silence, “Granted I’m not as maneuverable as your armor but I do have a few tricks up my sleeves.”

Tony blinked again before clearing his throat, “Uh, sure, yeah, flying.”

James smiled and nodded, “I will see you in the quad later today then?”

Tony dumbly nodded and watched the other give him a sloppy salute before leaving. He blinked and sat back down to process what just happened. A flying date with Union Jack? Well then. He should probably update Jan before she freaks out again.

 

* * *

 

Jan had her hands on her hips and staring at Tony with a blank face, “But you’re with Steve.” Trust her to get right to the point.

Tony swallowed and glanced at his gauntlet, “Well, uh, actually-” He blinked when he had a lap full of Wasp.

“You mean you guys broke up?? No! What happened?!”

Tony gently pushed her off of his before standing and subconsciously holding his gauntlet, “We just had another fight.” He rubbed the pressure sensor on the pinky and stared out of his window.

“…But are you two broken up?”

Tony watched the other students in the quad area and spotted Steve talking with Bucky. He quickly looked to another area and watched as Enchantress sat sneering at everyone, “We didn’t explicitly say anything but, yes, we’re broken up.” He kept rubbing the pressure plate and closed his eyes, “Besides he’s right-”

Jan stood up from the bed and crossed her arms, “What did he say to you? Whenever you two fight you both believe you’re right. So what did he say?”

Tony heard the dangerous undercurrent in her tone and he winced, “Nothing that wasn’t true, Jan. Just drop it.” He let his hands fall and walked to where he placed his boots near his desk. Tony needed to make sure they would be fine for the afternoon.

Jan placed her hand on the middle of his desk and glared into his eyes, “Don’t give me that avoidance crap, Anthony.”

Tony glared back and stood up angrily, “He said I wasn’t anything without my gauntlet, okay?! Shit! Just drop it!!” He kept glaring until he saw the raw look that Jan had adopted. Tony immediately felt bad and was about to go and hug her when Jan’s face morphed into pure anger.

Tony felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. Oh shit. He tried to grab Jan but she simply shrank and blasted through the door, “Fuck.” Tony raced to his boots and put them on quickly all the while letting out a string of curses. He opened his window right when Jan barreled into Steve and punched the side of his face, “Shit, JAN!” Tony activated his boots and flew to grab her before Bucky decided to stop watching with a raised eyebrow.

Tony managed to pull Jan off of Steve and back a few steps, although she didn’t make it so easy.

“Get OFF of me Tony! No! That ass deserves this!”

Steve sat up and rubbed his jaw with a wince, he stared at Jan for a few moments before looking at Tony, “Why do I deserve this?” He asked incredulously.

Tony opened his mouth to try to explain away her actions but Jan’s yelling interrupted him.

“Because you’re an ASS! LET ME GO!”

Tony readjusted his grip and tried talking to her instead, “Jan, it’s okay, really, just calm down.” He was aware of the group of people that started to surround them and he really didn’t want Jan to get any reprimands from Fury or Pepper.

Jan glared back at Tony, “No that is NOT okay.” She wrenched herself to try to get out of Tony’s grip again but neither of them noticed a small click from the gauntlet.

Tony blinked when his nervous system in his hand turned off and he glanced down at it. Unfortunately his lapse of concentration allowed Jan to gracefully duck around one of his arms. Tony held onto her with his gauntlet out of habit but realized his mistake. His face drained of color when she forced her arm away and the gauntlet came off with it.

The sudden silence that had slammed into the group made Tony’s heart speed up. When he was in his room, he had taken off his jacket and just had his short sleeve black shirt on. It was obvious that his arm ended prematurely. The ugly scars were obvious in the sunlight and Tony _couldn’t_ _move_.

Jan felt the gauntlet still on her shoulder but the lack of pulling and she realized what happened. She turned and covered her mouth with her hands. Tears had started to gather in her eyes from guilt when she saw the look on Tony’s face.

Tony slowly looked up from his arm and saw Steve staring, _everyone was staring_  at him _his scars_. The ability to move suddenly rammed into Tony and he activated his boots and flew _ran_  away.

 

* * *

 

Panic attacks weren’t that new to Tony. He knew what to expect and typically how long they would last, what would trigger it. But he didn’t expect to be outed to the entire student body five minutes ago so he wasn’t sure how long this one would last. With his amazing luck this week he might immediately go into crying right after it finished.

Tony had his right arm in between his legs and his chest and his other arm wrapped around his knees. He was aware that he was actually able to breath, it was just his sobs that were quickening his breath. Great. Straight into crying. Called it.

A sudden warmth encircled his shoulders and he was pulled into a chest. Tony didn’t bother looking up after his initial flinch. He knew that he would be crying for a while and it was best if he could get it over with.

Tony felt his crying start to calm down and he managed to take a few more deep breaths to fully calm down and confront the person who offered their comfort. He slowly pulled away and gave the other teen a shaky smile.

James didn’t smile back but he kept his eyes on Tony’s face and not his arm for which Tony was all too grateful for.

Tony sighed and leaned back against the wall, “Still want to go on that flight with me?” He asked dryly the roughness from his crying somewhat ruined the sarcastic effect and made his words sound more self-conscious than he meant to.

To his credit James immediately replied, “Of course.” The brunet sighed and sat next to Tony, “But I also feel that there is something going on between you and Captain America.” James watched Tony’s face and nodded.

Tony just stared at the grass and sighed, “Friends then?”

James smiled, “Friends.”

Tony reached forward with his right arm to shake hands and paused when he realized that there was no hand to shake. Just before he pulled his arm back in embarrassment, James gently fist bumped the stump. Tony stared for a few moments before he started to laugh.

Their laughter was cut short when they saw a flash of blue running towards them. Tony felt an arm go around his shoulders protectively as he tucked his arm back between his legs and chest.

Steve stopped a few feet from them and swallowed before opening his mouth.

James interrupted him before he got the chance to say anything, “If it’s not an apology then you should leave, Captain.”

Tony blinked at the coldness in his tone and watched as Steve made a confused face.

“What are you doing here Union Jack?”

“Comforting a friend.”

Tony let a small smile rest on his face before taking a deep breath, “Thanks James. But I should handle this.” He slowly stood up and held his arms, the right one below his left, across his stomach, “What is it Steve?” He asked tiredly. Tony was aware of James standing behind him with his arms crossed and (most likely) glaring.

Steve bit his lip as he glanced at how Tony held his arms.

Tony noticed and tensed.

Steve dragged his eyes away from the arm and looked into Tony’s eyes, “I am so sorry, I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

Tony shook his head and closed his eyes, “You said I was worthless without my tech. My gauntlet specifically.” He felt more than heard James shift behind him, “I know you didn’t know but that-” Tony rolled his eyes upward when he felt the tears start to spring up, “It hurts when you are dismissed like that okay?”

Steve nodded and stepped forward, he stopped when Tony took a step back to keep the space, “I know, I just, when we fight I can’t-”

“It shouldn’t be like that Steve!” Tony outright glared and ignored the tears falling down his face, “We shouldn’t even have those thoughts!!” Tony closed his eyes and wiped his face futilely, “You called me worthless.” He said softly. He heard a soft noise and opened his eyes in confusion.

Steve had sank to his knees and he was still staring at Tony, “I am so sorry. You are not worthless Tony.” He slowly shuffled forward and continued when Tony didn’t move, “You’re amazing and I’ll try my damned hardest to prove that to you if you give me another chance.”

Tony swallowed and continued to stare at Steve. After a little while he opened his mouth, ”James, could you give us a little privacy please?” Tony felt a hand on his shoulder and he couldn’t help but smile when James flicked Steve’s ear roughly before flying away.

Steve didn’t bother reacting to the flick, just trying to keep eye contact with Tony.

Tony took a deep breath and closed his eyes, “Stand up, Steve.”

“I’ll stand when I deserve it.”

Without missing a beat Tony looked down with an unimpressed eyebrow, “You’re going to be down there for a fucking long time then.”

Steve just smiled, “I’ll fight Red Skull like this to prove that I mean this to you.”

Tony closed his eyes and shook his head, “I hate that I can forgive you so _easily_  fuck.” tears started to flow again, “We always fight and you say these things and I still love you.”

Steve gently pulled Tony and caught him to hold on tightly, “I am going to work on it, I promise.” His voice was filled with so much guilt, “I love you too, Tony.”

Tony buried his face in Steve’s shoulder, “Promise?” He asked quietly.

Steve knew how much trust Tony was putting onto him with that tone of voice. Tony wouldn’t be able to go through another fight like this. He was putting his heart on the line _again_  even after everything Steve had said and done to hurt him. Steve held on tighter and turned his face so that he could press a kiss to Tony’s cheek.

“Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl while writing this i kind of fell a little for Union Jack / Iron Man.
> 
> it might be me, i always love a dapper British spy.
> 
> but if anyone wants to write a James Montgomery Falsworth/Tony Stark I will def read it yo. <3


	3. ALTERNATE ENDING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate ending for the people that requested (and myself because I suddenly acquired a new otp while writing the 2nd chapter.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to keep it a Steve/Tony in your mind don't read this chapter <3
> 
> It's the same as ch.2 until Tony runs away.

Tony stared at his gauntlet for a few more seconds before replacing the panel. It needed to be surface cleaned but all around it was fine, there wasn’t any twisted wires or lose connections. Tony replaced his small tool inside of his jacket and stood up from the couch to stretch his back.

He closed his eyes after a particularly satisfying pop on his spine happened and sighed. Tony almost jumped when he opened his eyes and another pair of brown were about a foot away. Tony blinked and slowly lowered his arms, “What’s up Jack?”

“Please call me James.” Union Jack said with an amused twist of his lips.

Tony tilted his head, “Shouldn’t you be called Union James? What’s with the Jack?”

James laughed and shook his head, “Couldn’t really tell you.” He paused and looked at the gauntlet, “I saw you fixing that, was something wrong with it?”

Caught off guard with the sudden interested question, Tony blinked and looked to his hand again, “Uhh, No, I just have to keep it cleaned and make sure there aren’t any loose connections or things like that.”

James nodded, “Ahh, general upkeep then.”

Tony nodded as well with a small smile, “Gotta keep the gadgets up to snuff just in case!” Tony flexed his gauntlet a few times before continuing, “Speaking of, did you want me to look at anything of yours?”

James raised an eyebrow.

Tony’s eyes widened as he started to laugh, “Not like that! It’s just-” He calmed down and continued with a small amused smile, “People usually just want me to help them out with their tech.”

James furrowed his eyebrows, amusement suddenly gone from his face, “That’s not right, mate.”

Tony blinked and looked away as he rubbed the back of his head, “Well, I mean, I’m the tech guy. I understand.”

James shook his head and let the subject drop, “I was actually wondering if you’d like to go flying sometime?” He continued at Tony’s shocked silence, “Granted I’m not as maneuverable as your armor but I do have a few tricks up my sleeves.”

Tony blinked again before clearing his throat, “Uh, sure, yeah, flying.”

James smiled and nodded, “I will see you in the quad later today then?”

Tony dumbly nodded and watched the other give him a sloppy salute before leaving. He blinked and sat back down to process what just happened. A flying date with Union Jack? Well then. He should probably update Jan before she freaks out again.

 

* * *

 

 

Jan had her hands on her hips and staring at Tony with a blank face, “But you’re with Steve.” Trust her to get right to the point.

Tony swallowed and glanced at his gauntlet, “Well, uh, actually-” He blinked when he had a lap full of Wasp.

“You mean you guys broke up?? No! What happened?!”

Tony gently pushed her off of his before standing and subconsciously holding his gauntlet, “We just had another fight.” He rubbed the pressure sensor on the pinky and stared out of his window.

“…But are you two broken up?”

Tony watched the other students in the quad area and spotted Steve talking with Bucky. He quickly looked to another area and watched as Enchantress sat sneering at everyone, “We didn’t explicitly say anything but, yes, we’re broken up.” He kept rubbing the pressure plate and closed his eyes, “Besides he’s right-”

Jan stood up from the bed and crossed her arms, “What did he say to you? Whenever you two fight you both believe you’re right. So what did he say?”

Tony heard the dangerous undercurrent in her tone and he winced, “Nothing that wasn’t true, Jan. Just drop it.” He let his hands fall and walked to where he placed his boots near his desk. Tony needed to make sure they would be fine for the afternoon.

Jan placed her hand on the middle of his desk and glared into his eyes, “Don’t give me that avoidance crap, Anthony.”

Tony glared back and stood up angrily, “He said I wasn’t anything without my gauntlet, okay?! Shit! Just drop it!!” He kept glaring until he saw the raw look that Jan had adopted. Tony immediately felt bad and was about to go and hug her when Jan’s face morphed into pure anger.

Tony felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. Oh shit. He tried to grab Jan but she simply shrank and blasted through the door, “Fuck.” Tony raced to his boots and put them on quickly all the while letting out a string of curses. He opened his window right when Jan barreled into Steve and punched the side of his face, “Shit, JAN!” Tony activated his boots and flew to grab her before Bucky decided to stop watching with a raised eyebrow.

Tony managed to pull Jan off of Steve and back a few steps, although she didn’t make it so easy.

“Get OFF of me Tony! No! That ass deserves this!”

Steve sat up and rubbed his jaw with a wince, he stared at Jan for a few moments before looking at Tony, “Why do I deserve this?” He asked incredulously.

Tony opened his mouth to try to explain away her actions but Jan’s yelling interrupted him.

“Because you’re an ASS! LET ME GO!”

Tony readjusted his grip and tried talking to her instead, “Jan, it’s okay, really, just calm down.” He was aware of the group of people that started to surround them and he really didn’t want Jan to get any reprimands from Fury or Pepper.

Jan glared back at Tony, “No that is NOT okay.” She wrenched herself to try to get out of Tony’s grip again but neither of them noticed a small click from the gauntlet.

Tony blinked when his nervous system in his hand turned off and he glanced down at it. Unfortunately his lapse of concentration allowed Jan to gracefully duck around one of his arms. Tony held onto her with his gauntlet out of habit but realized his mistake. His face drained of color when she forced her arm away and the gauntlet came off with it.

The sudden silence that had slammed into the group made Tony’s heart speed up. When he was in his room, he had taken off his jacket and just had his short sleeve black shirt on. It was obvious that his arm ended prematurely. The ugly scars were obvious in the sunlight and Tony _couldn’t move_.

Jan felt the gauntlet still on her shoulder but the lack of pulling and she realized what happened. She turned and covered her mouth with her hands. Tears had started to gather in her eyes from guilt when she saw the look on Tony’s face.

Tony slowly looked up from his arm and saw Steve staring, _everyone was staring_  at him _his scars_. The ability to move suddenly rammed into Tony and he activated his boots and flew _ran_  away. 

 

* * *

 

 

Panic attacks weren’t that new to Tony. He knew what to expect and typically how long they would last, what would trigger it. But he didn’t expect to be outed to the entire student body five minutes ago so he wasn’t sure how long this one would last. With his amazing luck this week he might immediately go into crying right after it finished.

Tony had his right arm in between his legs and his chest and his other arm wrapped around his knees. He was aware that he was actually able to breath, it was just his sobs that were quickening his breath. Great. Straight into crying. Called it.

A sudden warmth encircled his shoulders and he was pulled into a chest. Tony didn’t bother looking up after his initial flinch. He knew that he would be crying for a while and it was best if he could get it over with.

Tony felt his crying start to calm down and he managed to take a few more deep breaths to fully calm down and confront the person who offered their comfort. He slowly pulled away and gave the other teen a shaky smile.

James didn’t smile back but he kept his eyes on Tony’s face and not his arm for which Tony was all too grateful for.

Tony sighed and leaned back against the wall, “Still want to go on that flight with me?” He asked dryly the roughness from his crying somewhat ruined the sarcastic effect and made his words sound more self-conscious than he meant to.

To his credit James immediately replied, “Of course.” The brunet sighed and sat next to Tony, “But I also feel that there is something going on between you and Captain America.” James watched Tony’s face and nodded.

Tony just stared at the grass and sighed, “It’s not healthy.”

James made an agreeing noise but aside from that he kept quiet.

Tony was silent for a while before he opened his mouth again, “You haven’t stared at it.” He said quietly. When something like an arm is missing, people tend to be hyper aware of stares. They also notice when people don't stare.

James readjusted his shoulders against the wall and settled more comfortably, “Is there something that I should be staring at?” he asked curiously.

Tony snorted without humor, “There’s nothing there, that’s exactly why you should be staring.”

James turned fully towards Tony and held eye contact, “You are more than a handicap, Tony. Anyone who thinks differently are wrong.”

Tony felt a light blush dust his cheeks and he looked away from the calm brown gaze.

“Tony.”

Tony looked back to James.

James smiled and continued when he had the genius’s attention, “When you’ve figured out your thing with the Captain, I’d like to take you to dinner. If it’s still feasible, of course.”

Tony blinked and stared for a few moments, “Uh, yeah. I’d like that.”

James’s reply was cut short when they saw a flash of blue running towards them. Tony felt an arm go around his shoulders protectively as he tucked his arm back between his legs and chest.

Steve stopped a few feet from them and swallowed before opening his mouth.

James interrupted him before he got the chance to say anything, “If it’s not an apology then you should leave, Captain.”

Tony blinked at the coldness in James’s tone and watched as Steve made a confused face.

“What are you doing here, Union Jack?”

“Comforting a friend.”

Tony let a small smile rest on his face before taking a deep breath, “Thank you, James. But I can handle this.” He slowly stood up and held his arms, the right one below his left, across his stomach, “What is it Steve?” He asked tiredly. Tony was aware of James standing behind him with his arms crossed and (most likely) glaring.

Steve bit his lip as he glanced at how Tony held his arms.

Tony noticed and tensed. He spared a thought towards James who hadn’t even once looked at his lack of arm and immediately became defensive. If James was able to not stare then Steve should be able to do it.

Steve dragged his eyes away from the arm and looked into Tony’s eyes, “I am so sorry, I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

Tony shook his head and closed his eyes, “You said I was worthless without my tech. My gauntlet specifically.” He felt more than heard James shift behind him, “I know you didn’t know but that-” Tony rolled his eyes upward when he felt the tears start to spring up, “It hurts when you are dismissed like that, okay?”

Steve nodded and stepped forward, he stopped when Tony took a step back to keep the space, “I know, I just, when we fight I can’t-”

“It shouldn’t be like that Steve!” Tony outright glared and ignored the tears falling down his face, “We shouldn’t even have those thoughts!!” Tony closed his eyes and wiped his face futilely, “You called me worthless.” He said softly. He heard a soft noise and opened his eyes in confusion.

Steve had sank to his knees and he was still staring at Tony, “I am so sorry. You are not worthless Tony.” He slowly shuffled forward and continued when Tony didn’t move, “You’re amazing and I’ll try my damned hardest to prove that to you if you give me another chance.”

Tony closed his eyes and shook his head, “Steve, what we’re doing. It can’t be healthy.” He felt a hand at his left wrist and he flinched away. That was way too close for comfort to his arm, “No, Steve.” Tony opened his eyes and shook his head, “I can’t do that again. I can’t watch us burn again.” He continued brokenly.

Steve stayed on the ground and let his arm fall, “Tony, please. Just one more chance. I promise I wont hurt you.”

Tony laughed and inwardly winced at how raw he sounded, “How can you promise that, Steve?!” He flung his arms outward in a burst of anger and let them hang limply at his sides. Tony opened his eyes in time to catch Steve’s darting back from his arm, finally he was fed up, “Stop **_LOOKING_** at it!”

“I think we’re done here.” James gently pulled Tony back another step and crossed so that he was now in front of Steve, “You should leave, Captain.”

Steve looked at James and shook his head, “No, I have to make him see-”

“You can’t make him do anything.” James kept his eyes locked with Steve’s and stared him down, “This is Tony’s choice. And he’s choosing to get over you, respect that, Captain.”

Steve opened his mouth to argue more but deflated when James’s words sunk in, “…Okay.”

James nodded and turned back to Tony who still had his right arm wrapped around his middle and his left was over his eyes as he cried. James pressed a button on his watch that called his jet pack and threaded his arms through Tony’s so that they could fly away.

Tony winced again but didn’t withdrawal. He opened his eyes to see what was going on before wrapping his left arm around James’s shoulders more securely. The flying was familiar but something incredibly new. Tony blinked open his eyes and looked down. He had never been able to be on this side of the coin and it was a different experience altogether that made him remember his first time in the suit.

They landed behind the dorms and James pressed another few buttons on his watch so that the pack flew away.

“Does it have a homing beacon?” Tony’s curiosity wouldn’t ever shut up, no matter what emotional state he was in.

James looked at Tony and smiled, “Yes, it flies back to my room.” At Tony’s nod, James took his left hand and pulled him into the dorms through the back way, “Would you like to go back to your own room?”

Thinking back to his room where the door was blasted open and wide open windows he shook his head, “It’s in pretty bad shape right now, Jan blasted the door when she found out about Steve. I can go to the tower.” His eyes were burning again but he ignored it.

James watched him for a few seconds before nodding once to himself, “You can come to mine if you’d like.”

Tony furrowed his eyebrows, “Really? But you’re a spy.” At James cocked eyebrow Tony hurried to clarify, “I mean, that, Spies don’t typically invite people over to their places because of secrets and stuff.”

James smiled and let his thumb stroke Tony’s hand, “I trust you Tony.” James led the now silent with shock Tony to his room and made sure to keep out from wandering eyes. The spy entered his room and closed the door to keep them in private before turning back to Tony and noticing the genius taking everything in.

Tony wanted to ask so many questions, he really did, but he managed to keep his mouth closed. These things could wait. With James’s small gesture, Tony sat on the edge of the neatly made bed. One question was still burning in his mind though, “Why don’t you?”

James paused in the middle of taking off his blazer, “Why don’t I what?”

“Stare at it.” Tony continued quietly.

James continued to slide off the sleeve and draped the blazer on the back of his desk chair, slowly, as if taking the time to think about his answer, “You’re aware that I am a part of the intelligence community?” At Tony’s nod he continued, “I’ve known about it since I’ve been at the academy.”

Tony let his gaze lower to the floor, “So you’ve known that I was a cripple from the beginning.”

James crossed the floor and sat next to Tony, “I’ve known that you are a man filled with such tenacity that despite an accident that would deter any other human being from continuing in that line of work, you did. _And_ you came out on top.”

Tony closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. All of these compliments were getting to him today, ‘ _Woah, he really has a way with words._ ’ Tony thought before opening them again.

James took Tony’s left hand and stroked the back of it again with his thumb, “You deserve someone who will respect you for who you are.”

Tony smiled wryly, “And that’s you?”

James quirked his lips in a half smile, “I can only hope to be that person in your eyes.”

Tony loudly exhaled and shook his head, “You damn dapper British people. You know just what to say.” His eyes were wide at the admission from James and Tony tried to brush it off but it still held.

James gently squeezed Tony’s hand and stood up, “I know that Jan has your gauntlet, If you’d like I can retrieve it for you, or would you rather her to come up here?”

Tony swallowed again, “Um, you could stay? I don’t need it at the moment and we can talk more if you want?”

James smiled warmly and sat back down, “I would enjoy that very much, thank you.”

Tony blinked and nodded with a small smile, “Thank you, James.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ending I prefer lol.

**Author's Note:**

> wooo heartbreak! 
> 
> I was super inspired by the song by Emeli Sande - Hurts


End file.
